Hi Aunti Momo. Hope everyone is well. I need advice on how to forgive myself and the father of my unborn. I met the father last year September at my first ever internship (at work). We were working together. He’s 31 I’m 24. He has a first child somewhere (7 year old) but no longer with the mother. The reason was that she fell pregnant when they were trying to reconcile but nothing worked out so they failed. After just a month of knowing him, I fell pregnant, please dont judge me, it was not my intention, I was on pills and even took morning afters. It turns out they all didn’t work. After a month I found out and we did test, they came positive. Now the problem is that I was assured that he would take care of the baby and everything would be fine.
Everything went well until I was five months, the guy started pulling back. Another red flag I ignored was that he’s those type of guys who were very stingy and would rather let you suffer on your own than help you, but I was already in it too deep to do anything. I really loved this man. One other red flag, this guy was keeping his ex’s stuff in his apartment. He told me that when they broke up the lady left him without saying bye( not his babys mother by the way). He told me he didn’t just wanna throw those things away because the lady moved to another country. I let that slide.
This guy left me pregnant at 5 months and told me he felt like sometimes he loves me but sometimes he feels like he doesn’t want to be with me. So I had to set him free and let him go because there was nothing I could do. I had to accept that I can’t ever force a person to love me. But ever since this guy left me, I haven’t been the same. I feel robbed of a lot first my child will grow up without a father (this I’m saying bcause I can already see that he’s unavailable). I feel betrayed because I was lied to and I was probably a rebound.
I feel so dissapointed in myself and angry because I’ve left a man do this to me, the shame and embarrasment? So now the problem is I feel stuck bcause I lost my job and I’m expecting. It’s too much and I’m just on my own. My family is very poor so I can’t count on them. I have felt like taking my kife and just go with my unborn because all feels so heavy. I let a guy ruin my life for real , for lies. I feel damaged and stupid. I always ask God what do I do after this. This is a cry for advice from my sisters. If you find yourself in my situation, what would you do?